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Old 11-03-2014, 10:49 PM   #1
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A joke from my Dad today (Nov 3) on his 83rd birthday


Sister Mary Catherine, a devout young woman, was not progressing spiritually as much as she wanted. She decided to enter a monastery where all the Sisters took a vow of silence. The day she joined the monastery the head of the monastery told her:

"Sister Mary Catherine, from this point on you may not talk, not one word."

So, Sister Mary Catherine kept her vow from that day on. For months and months and months she said not a word. After she had been there for five years, she was called to meet with the head.

He said to her: "Sister you have been here for five years. You may say two words. Two words only."

She then said: "Bed's hard."

Then she went back to her work, keeping silent. For months and months and months. After five more years she was called back to meet the head, who told her:

"Sister, you have now been here for ten years and you may now say two words."

She replied: "Food's bad."

She then went back to work, keeping silent, for months and months and months. Five more years passed..., she had been there 15 years! On that day, the head of the monastery called for her again. He told her:

"Sister Mary Catherine, you have been here now for 15 years. You may say two words."

She said: "I quit!"

The head paused a moment and then replied: "Well, maybe it's just as well. You've done nothing but complain since you got here..."
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Old 11-04-2014, 02:32 PM   #2
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A woman was in town on ashopping trip.

She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the
first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in thesecond.

In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent
when her mobile phone rang.

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband
had just been in a terrible car accident and was in
critical condition and in the ICU.

The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she
was and that she'd be there as soon aspossible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping
up to be her best day ever in theboutiques.
She decided to get in a coupleof more shops before heading to the hospital.

She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her
trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful
chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop.
She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed
to the hospital.
She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her
husband's condition.
The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went
ahead and finished your shopping trip didn'tyou!
I hope you're proud of yourself!

While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself
in town, your husband has been languishing
in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went
ahead and finished, because it will more than
likely be the last shopping trip youever take!

For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clockcare.
And YOU will now be his carer!'

The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.

The lady doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'mjust pulling your leg..

He's dead. Show me what you bought.'
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