Precious Metals Forum

Go Back   Precious Metals Forum > Bunker Talk > STS

Like Tree2Likes
  • 2 Post By Jay

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-11-2013, 02:52 PM   #1
Jay
Yellow Jacket
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,511
Liked: 671 times
might be a dead horse

just got this email:

PARABLES ARE A GREAT WAY TO MAKE PEOPLE THINK INSTEAD OF ASSUME OR JUST GO ALONG WITH WHAT THEY ARE TOLD.

Flowers, Anyone ?

Receptionist: Hello, Welcome to Obama Flowers. My name is Trina. How can I help you?
Customer: Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
Receptionist: Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.
Customer: Thanks. I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife.
Receptionist, interrupting: Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses Package.
Customer: But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets"— done it for years, my wife loves them.
Receptionist: Roses are better, sir; I am sure your wife will like them.
Customer: Well, how much are they?
Receptionist: It depends, sir. Do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold, or Platinum package?
Customer: What's the difference?
Receptionist: 6, 12, 18, or 24 red roses.
Customer: The Silver package may be okay. How much is it?
Receptionist: It depends, sir. What is your monthly income?
Customer: What does that have to do with anything?
Receptionist: I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our Flower Aid department.
Customer: Flower Aid ?
Receptionist: Yes, flowers are a right. Everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.
Customer: Who said they were a right?
Receptionist: Congress passed it, the president signed it, and the Supreme Court found it constitutional.
Customer: Whoa… I don't remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding flowers as a right.
Receptionist: It is not really a right in the Constitution, but Obama Flowers is constitutional because the Supreme Court ruled it a "tax." Taxes are constitutional. But we feel it is a right.
Customer: I don't believe this…
Receptionist: It's the law of the land, sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver package, so what is your monthly income, sir?
Customer: Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
Receptionist: In that case, sir, I will still need your monthly income.
Customer: Why?
Receptionist: To determine what your "non-participation" cost would be.
Customer: WHAT? You can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!
Receptionist: It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income—
Customer: This is ridiculous. I'll pay the $9.50.
Receptionist: Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.
Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!!
Receptionist: Actually, sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
Customer: Look, I'm going to call my congressman to find out what's going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.
Receptionist: Sorry to hear that, sir. That's why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.
Customer: Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?
Receptionist: So they get your GPS coordinates, sir.
(Doorbell rings, followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)
Receptionist: That would be the IRS, sir. Thanks for calling Obama Flowers, have a nice day... and God bless America.
mmerlinn and Cronus like this.
Jay is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Another dead copperhead ancona STS 14 10-06-2013 01:38 AM
Horse powered saw mill, Belize Jay STS 6 09-17-2013 05:08 PM
Ron Paul - Lady rides in nude look clothes on horse in CA capital- making the governor mad. I LOVE T Penn STS 2 05-19-2012 09:32 AM
Donna Summer- Dead- Penn STS 4 05-18-2012 09:06 AM
The Walken Dead PMBug STS 0 12-07-2011 11:50 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:28 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® from Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
Content of PMBug.com copyright © 2011 - 2019 Measuring Up. All Rights Reserved.