To Forgive Do You Also Have to Forget?

[Bottom Feeder]

I met an old friend in the market the other day, one that I knew more than forty years ago that stabbed me in the back over something. It's been a long time since that incident and our parting of the ways. I felt like I had forgiven them years later but that chance meeting brought back the memory in FULL detail.
And it made me think later; did I really forgive? Can you really forgive someone for deep damage that they've done? There was no rage or anger in my mind during the meeting, but my pleasantries were forced and I left our encounter without the happy feeling of meeting an old friend, but instead thinking; "boy, that was weird."

So I looked around a bit and discovered it seemed to be a pretty common question with AI overview weighing in with:

No, you do not have to forget to forgive. Forgiveness means letting go of anger, bitterness, and the demand for payback. Forgetting implies erasing an event from your memory, which a healthy human brain cannot do on command.

I don't know, sometime things peoples do stays with you forever.
I was never into paybacks or getting even, maybe that's where I slipped up.
bummer

 

[pmbug]

To err is human, to forgive is divine, to forget is

 

[CiscoKid]

Personally, I have lived my life with the motto of "Never give a person a second chance. If they disappointed you once, they won't hesitate to do it again". Some people may feel this attitude is harsh, but nobody has ever let me down twice.

 

[Voodoo]

You just fooled yourself, you didn't really forgive anything.

 

[nickndfl]

I want revenge.

 

[Bottom Feeder]

You just fooled yourself, you didn't really forgive anything.

Well I may have fooled myself but you didn't fool me with your diagnosis because I know you're not a psychologist nor do you play one on TV (I don't watch it anyway).
I openly examine my feelings and you imply I'm a fool. There seems to be a lot of that going around lately. (The 'fool' label part)

Wherz Casey got off to?
Is his compuker broke?

 

[Someone_else]

If I go to fool school and drop out... Does that mean I graduated?

 

[searcher]

BF........very interesting thread.

I like your AI quote.

Depending upon what someone does to you - forgiveness would be up to you.

As to forgetting..........in my opinion that's foolish. If you were to loan some one money and they didn't pay you back it would would be up to you to forgive. But if you were to forget shame on you. They could assume you were weak and try to hit you up again. Same goes for tools, et.

If they tried to make you look stupid in any type of a situation, it's one thing to wash it off but if you forget it they could try it again. And maybe enjoy fucking with you.

I can't give you a real answer. What I can do is to say it's up to you.

As for me...........if you screw me I do not forgive or forget.

Just my way of looking at life.

Wherz Casey got off to?
Is his compuker broke?

I hope he's ok. I enjoy his posts.

 

[Joe King]

Forgiving is fine, but I don't see how anyone could truly forget WHY the forgiveness was given.

 

[Fatrat]

Let it go if you can, but know they would probably do it again if they got the chance...

 

[KnowWhy]

I have been forgiven. It is the least i can do for others. I had to set an alarm on my phone to refresh my mind every time ex wife and i would exchange the children. Twelve years later it still helps to remind myself she IS forgiven.
It is not easy, but it is not up to my strength. Focus on how blessed i am and my confident expectation.
There is an accuser who wants us to remember and be bitter and to remind us how worthless we are.

Thanks for the topic.

 

[Lancers32]

Depends on what they did.

 

[Bottom Feeder]

Depends on what they did.

But of course.
It's easy to forgive my dog when she pukes on the floor.
It's easy to forgive someone who pays for what they've broken.
It's easy to forgive your child for mishaps and messes.
It's not easy to forgive someone who causes you to lose your job.
It's not easy to forgive your ex after a divorce.
It's not easy to forgive that drunk that ran over your little boy in the street.

It's all in the Depends…