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Old 02-16-2013, 07:32 PM   #1
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It's Saturday

So......it's Saturday. Want to know how I know? Because my fucktarded, down the street, asshole, redneck mouth breathing neighbors have busted out the four wheelers and are racing up and down the Goddamn street as if they are the only idio...people on earth. When I approached them and pointed out that it is indeed 8:00 in the evening, and that indeed it is illegal to run [race] off-road vehicles on residential streets [at 20 mph over the limit no less] they laughed and told me to "Go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut".

Ahhhhhh......suburban life! You gotta love it!

So, it appears that they didn't learn their lesson the last time when I tossed fifteen pounds of simplex roofing nails in their favorite mudhole behind the FPL right-of-way, so I suppose I'll give them a reminder in a few days. These idiots never learn. They get tickets, they get locked up, they get jacked around by Johnny Law but they still persist in being total fucking douches. Am I the only one, or does anyone else have to deal with moronic, sophmoric, selfish social retards on a regular basis?

How is it that whne I moved in to the neighborhood we were a pretty cohesive group of mostly intelligent people, folks who were sensitive to the fact that there were others around us and as a result of that, our behavior needed to be consistent with that of polite society? What the everlovin' fuck?

Sometimes, it should be legal to resolve certain situations with a Louisville Slugger.

The wife has been a good sport about the knuckletards, but I am at the end of my rope here, and I'm ready to call the cops to get these fuckers to stop acting like fucking children, but she has asked me not to, so I'll do as she want's......for now.
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Old 02-16-2013, 08:29 PM   #2
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the morbidly obese white trash welfare recipients down the street (that I have ranted about in the past getting 4000.00 a month in EBT benefits) were in the produce department where I work tonight. All the whores have new hairdoes, and one has got ANOTHER one in the oven. Unbelievable. Their caseworker (who is my wife's friend) is at our house and says that since their income tax refund is so large, they failed to show up for their welfare appointments, and therefore fell off the rolls. She had some phrase they use at the welfare office for them, (folks who fell off of welfare when they hit the refund jackpot) but now I can't remember it. I know one lady at the grocery I work at got 19,000 income tax refund, in addition to child support and her forty hour a week check, but she got fired for shoplifting. My boss hated her. He said "I've never gotten an income tax refund in my life."

My Republic of Texas neighbor got pissed at someone who had slighted him and the party that offended him had pizzas delivered, tv repairmen show up, insurance salemen show up for schedule meetings, nannies responding
to solicitations in the paper, on and on and on... the list was incredible. He covered his tracks very well, there was nothing they could do to prove he was the one.
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Old 02-16-2013, 09:49 PM   #3
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Like I said......Louisville Slugger.....
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Old 02-16-2013, 10:29 PM   #4
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So, me and Little Ancona were just on the porch and a Sherriff rolls up and asks us if we're "OK" because they got a "blind" 911 call, meaning that someone called 911 from a cell and all they can do is triangulate or something. Anyhow, it turned out to be an alcohol related stupidness call from the very same idiots I was writing about earlier.

Darwin was right.
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Old 02-17-2013, 03:42 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by ancona View Post:
Am I the only one, or does anyone else have to deal with moronic, sophmoric, selfish social retards on a regular basis?
If I had to put up with the continual idiocy that you are putting up with, I would seriously be trying to find a way to leave the area. Yeah, I know, your job keeps you there, but sometimes I wonder if all of the hassles are worth it.

One positive thing about those hassles.

They are interesting for us to watch from the sidelines as you battle them in the trenches.
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Old 02-17-2013, 07:46 AM   #6
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Ancona, your story reminds me of a particular day when I was in college. One block away from the dormatory where I was living, there was a quiet residential street that rarely had any traffic as the road was not a major thoroughfare. I was walking down by the end of the street and could see a lot of commotion - ambulances and such - but didn't bother to investigate (I've never been the rubbernecking sort).

I later learned that two adrenaline junkies were using that street as a drag strip to race each other on their Ninja motorcycles. I don't know how fast they were going, but it must have been damn fast because the resident who backed his truck out of his driveway didn't see them coming and they didn't have sufficient time to react. Both motorcycles slammed into the side of the truck and both drivers went airborne - flying over the truck and tumbling all the way down the street leaving a long red stain along the way. They both died. I imagine that smoewhere, Darwin shook his head with a wry grin.

To answer your question, thankfully no - at this time, we are in a good place and don't have any problems with any of our neighbors. That wasn't always the case growing up though.
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Old 02-17-2013, 08:13 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by PMBug View Post:
Ancona, your story reminds me of a particular day when I was in college. One block away from the dormatory where I was living, there was a quiet residential street that rarely had any traffic as the road was not a major thoroughfare. I was walking down by the end of the street and could see a lot of commotion - ambulances and such - but didn't bother to investigate (I've never been the rubbernecking sort).

I later learned that two adrenaline junkies were using that street as a drag strip to race each other on their Ninja motorcycles. I don't know how fast they were going, but it must have been damn fast because the resident who backed his truck out of his driveway didn't see them coming and they didn't have sufficient time to react. Both motorcycles slammed into the side of the truck and both drivers went airborne - flying over the truck and tumbling all the way down the street leaving a long red stain along the way. They both died. I imagine that smoewhere, Darwin shook his head with a wry grin.

To answer your question, thankfully no - at this time, we are in a good place and don't have any problems with any of our neighbors. That wasn't always the case growing up though.
down the street from my house is an alternative school for the kids who get thrown out of the local high school for poor academics (ponder on THAT for a while, since Burnet schools have failed all federal guidelines, and we got a letter from the school district recommending we take our kids our of the local schools). I don't know what its called, but we call it the ABC school, or the black and white school. I was out front one very quiet day working in the garden when a kid from the ABC school came rocketing past my house on a crotch rocket, slammed on the front brake and did a perfect cartwheel down the street; he landed on his hands first. The ambulance took him away, the wrecker dragged the bike up the bed, and the cop put his backback in the back of his car. Never heard another word, but I thought that kid had a BAD day.
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Old 02-17-2013, 11:39 AM   #8
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ooeerrr, puts a whole new meaning on 'back up the truck', Bug.

We vaguely knew a lad with a death wish, who used to race against the clock along a stretch of the coast road in North Cornwall.

He knew he would die doing this and eventually he did.

Weird that he was smart enough to know this but so addicted to the rush that he had to keep doing it. He coulda been useful in WW2 ..........
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