Dear Moneyist & other laughs

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The Moneyist is like a Dear Abby for peeps with money problems (if the posts are true.) Figured I'd start a thread where people could post some of this stuff. Strickly entertainment. Some of this is hysterical.

I borrowed $20,000 from my mother in 1996, but only repaid $5,000. She deducted the entire loan from my inheritance. I need that money. What now?​

Dear Quentin,​



When we sold our late mother’s house last year for $600,000; the equity was supposed to be divided equally by us four siblings (around $146,000 each). In 1996, I borrowed $20,000 from my mother interest-free to help buy my condo. I promised to pay her back in two years.

I managed to pay her back $5,000 in six months. But I made terrible decisions in my finances and I lost my high-paying job. My budget couldn’t afford to pay her back. I was terrified to tell her. She was extremely angry at that time, so she deducted $20,000 from my inheritance.

Long story short: I defaulted on mom’s loan. When mom made out her will, she produced my letter from 1996, which stated that I did not repay the loan. This is the only evidence of the transaction. I want to have the CPA redo the taxes to show that I paid part of the loan off.

When I called my sister, mom’s power of attorney, she was so upset. She said “F— you, never talk to me again!” I was shocked! She has never talked to me this way in 75 years. I understand her anger because this is a mess and she’s a hero doing such a wonderful job as a POA.

More:

I borrowed $20,000 from my mother in 1996, but only repaid $5,000. She deducted the entire loan from my inheritance. I need that money. What now?

“I live in a semi-expensive assisted living facility, and I’m not in good health.”
www.marketwatch.com
 

I lost $240,000 after a ‘friend’ I met on Instagram encouraged me to invest in crypto. Can I write off my loss?​

Dear Quentin,​

Over the past six months, I was crypto scammed. I just retired and lost $243,000 that I don’t think I will ever see again. I have reported the company to the FBI, Federal Trade Commission, and a few others. Some of the money was from a SEP IRA. Is there something I can do at tax time so I don’t have to pay taxes on it?

When I first started “investing,” the person helping showed how easy it was to get money back out which we did. This operation got “interesting” when I was informed that if I put in a total of $150,000 I would start the VIP treatment and would get tax-avoidance help, among other things. The company will not allow me to withdraw the money I have put in.

I was helped by this individual to invest in crypto futures. The person “helped” me by adding $40,000 here and $40,000 there to boost my money-making ability. The last time I added another $100,000. It’s a long story but in a nutshell that is the “help” I received. I tried to pull money out and the crypto company said the government thinks that I am laundering money.

They now say I need to pony up $150,000 — 15% of my “profit” — to pay taxes. The company said this would be reimbursed so I would not lose any money. I stopped right there and contacted the FBI and FTC. Now the crypto company is saying if I don’t pay the money soon my account will be frozen! I have not written back.

More:

 

‘Things have not been easy for us’: My sister is a hoarder and procrastinator. She is delaying probate of our parents’ estate. What can I do?​


Dear Quentin,​


I’ve been reading your articles for years — and now I need help.

I am in my early 50s, divorced and working full time, and have been raising my only child, a teenage daughter, alone for the past 12 years. My daughter is estranged from her father, who pays child support. We live in Connecticut.

My parents are both deceased as of last year. I moved out of the family home 34 years ago. I have one sibling: a slightly older sister who never moved out of the family home, never went to college, never married, never had a driver’s license, and has no children. I don’t believe she has ever had to pay rent.
My parents, my sister and I are civil servants with pensions. My sister has done quite well with a high-school degree, and is already eligible to retire. Her job gives her a lot of time off, including holidays and the entire summer.

More:

‘Things have not been easy for us’: My sister is a hoarder and procrastinator. She is delaying probate of our parents’ estate. What can I do?

“My sister has been busying herself with many activities that she claims are the reason we can’t get this probate process started now.”
www.marketwatch.com
 
I read some of these headlines on the Marketwatch news feed (on the PMBug News page) and just shake my head. No way they could be true. But then I remember how dumb people can be. Yeah, they could be true.
 

‘I’ve sacrificed my career’: My husband and I may divorce soon, but he will inherit $1 million. How do I make sure I get half?​


Dear Quentin,​

I have been married for eight years. My husband and I have had our ups and downs, as most married couples do. We got married young — he was 26 and I was 25 — which was probably not the best idea, as we had only known each other about a year and a half. We’ve both changed, not always for the better, and we’re now very different people.

We have one child. I’ve sacrificed my career and have shouldered most of the responsibility for our child, working part time for a while. He plays golf. I stay home. He gets a promotion. I take our child to birthday parties and after-school activities.

‘Do I hang on until he inherits this money? Don’t I deserve some of this inheritance at least? I would like to start again with some kind of security.’ ​

We are so used to being in an unhappy marriage that it has become our way of life, our normal. We’ve talked about the future, and we’ve talked around the fact that we may have a future separately, and I have privately thought a lot about divorce. If I’m honest, I have not been happy for more than half of the time we have been together. Having a child two years after we got married merely put us in a holding pattern.

More:

 
Sounds like the wife needs an attitude adjustment.
 
Need a laugh? Here ya go.................

‘I live in a slum’: My ex-husband knocked down, then rebuilt my home and left it in foreclosure. Now he refuses to pay alimony.​

Dear Quentin,​

I will try to condense this but it has been going on for 15 years. I married a man who had never owned a home and had no financial sense. I owned my home from the time I was 23 and also had my own small business. He and his ex-girlfriend had lots of debt, and I refused to marry him until they handled it. Both declared bankruptcy.

We lived in a house I owned before our marriage for 15 years when he decided that, as he was a construction manager, we should build a new home on the property. The recession hit in 2008, and we barely got the house built. We knew he would be laid off. He had been making $70,000 to $80,000 a year, and I had been doing well selling collectibles.

He bought a sports car, RV, a boat, scuba gear, had a bunch of dental work done, and God knows what else (he did not tell me about everything). He had also had a heart attack and was in and out of hospitals for over a year. He woke one morning and announced he was done. We had been married for almost 20 years, and he had just built a new house the year before.

More:

 
Poor chic.............needs to find better boy friends.

I’m Afraid My Boyfriend Wants Me To Financially Support Him​

Apr 30, 2024 The Ramsey Show Highlights

8:29
 
This one is a bit different. Here we have Andrea wondering if she's just a paycheck.

I make the money, and my husband handles the kids and housework. I've wondered if I'm just a paycheck — it's tough being the 'second choice' parent.​

  • Andrea Mac, a growth strategist, shares her experience as her family's sole financial provider.
  • Her husband left his job to become the full-time caregiver for their four children.
  • Mac sometimes grapples with the value she brings to her family beyond money.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Andrea Mac, a growth strategist at Prequal from the Greater Chicago area. It's been edited for length and clarity.

My husband handles 90% of our home life while I earn 100% of our family's income: I'm the family's breadwinner. While this is the right dynamic for us, my doubts creep in when things get imbalanced, and the parent/provider pendulum swings too far to either side.

For the last seven years, my husband has been a stay-at-home dad for our four children — ages 19, 14, 7, and 5. He used to have a full-time job as an electrical project engineer but left it when our third child was born, and my maternity leave was ending. Since then, I've been able to build a business that made just under $550,000 in 2023.

More:

 

‘His retirement benefits will be larger’: My first husband was wealthy. Can I claim his Social Security even if I married and divorced twice?​


Dear MarketWatch, ​

Iwas married to my first husband for 23 years before we divorced. I remarried but was only married for nine years before divorcing husband No. 2. He was quite successful and I know his retirement benefits will be larger than my own. I am confused on this point — a friend stated that I would be entitled to survivor benefits. I am planning on retiring at 67, my full retirement age.

Am I able to collect any benefits from husband No. 1?

Read the answer:

 
Here's a goodie, "He ghosted me."

‘I feel like an idiot. I need every cent to retire’: I gave a friend $20,000 to buy me a car. He ghosted me. I called the police. What options do I have?​


Dear Quentin,​

I believed a “friend” who talked me into giving him $20,000 with the promise that he would buy a car for me and my wife. I knew this guy. We met several times in person, and he explained that once I gave him the money that I could trust him.

This happened in March 2021. I have contacted the police and given them everything I knew about this guy: his address, phone number and email. The guy lives in another state so getting a lawyer is tough, but not impossible — just costly.

The guy has since ghosted me and has not responded to texts or emails. To top it off, I have no real proof — only one witness who was scammed as well. Most of my proof is in text messages with T-Mobile and for legal reasons they can’t give me a copy of our texts.

I feel like an idiot. I need every cent to retire, and I just want my money back.

Scammed in California

Read Quent's reply:

 
Here's a goodie.

‘She told my grandchildren lies about me so they would despise me’: I’m disinheriting my ungrateful and selfish daughter. Could she contest my will?​


I have two adult children, but one relationship has irretrievably broken down. We’ve been estranged for 20 years. She makes no contact, nor do I contact her, and I have not seen my grandchildren during all that time, nor my great grandchildren. That’s all fine with me; they have choices, as I do. When I pass I intend to leave her and her immediate family with nothing.

I paid for everything in a house my daughter and her partner, who I did not approve of, purchased; I paid for their first baby’s christening and communion, and a fence around their home so their child couldn’t go walkabout. I once complimented my daughter and her partner on a nice plant in their garage and they started laughing, and told me it was a marijuana plant.

More:

 
Here's a goodie. Dad's married 3 times, wicked stop mom don't like me, should I be worried about her or my own wife and kids? Help me!!

My father has always been a great father, and a generous person.

My mother left my father when I was 11. That left my father to care for me and my two younger siblings as best he could. While I was in my teens, my father remarried, and he helped her raise his second wife’s four young children. He moved into their house, and we stayed in our house that we grew up in. My father worked hard and generously provided for his new family; his middle-income construction-trade salary was enough to provide necessities, but it was never enough for him to save for his own retirement. My father and his second wife lived together for more than 20 years, raising her children and grandchildren who recognized my father as their “grandpa.”

More:

 
So the father moved in to the second wife's house, but the children stayed in the first house? What?!

Now my father is 78 and he is remarried again.
Click to expand...
Now this is getting more weird. I do not advocate a law punishing this. But I am against this.

[blah about dumb stuff]

[huge amount of crap deleted from the quote]
 
The title says it all lol

I wasn't born to work — luckily my husband pays me a £77,000 monthly allowance​

Opening up about her life as a rich housewife, one woman has shared the details of her lavish marriage.

Soudi Al Nadak, originally from Sussex and now living in Dubai, revealed that her husband has spent over £440,000 on her birthday and summer holidays alone.

When she turned 27 last month, Soudi was treated by her 33-year-old husband Jamal to a shopping trip to Miu Miu and Hermès, where together they splashed a whopping £38,000 on clothes and accessories.

More laughs:

 

‘He’s taunting me’: I loaned my son $30,000 to buy a house in 2012. I need it back. He says ‘the five-year window’ for repayment has closed. What can I do?​


I loaned my son $30,000 to buy a home in 2012. It was a good time to buy, and his house, which he bought for $135,000, is now worth $270,000. It was a good buy, and he can also extend in time and add to the value. I made it clear at the time that it was a loan, and he doesn’t dispute that. He said that it’s unfair to ask for repayment 10 years later, and said I should have given him more notice, and that his freelance business has dried up in the last five years.

He also told me, “The five-year window has closed.” What does that mean? A five-year window? I wasn’t aware there was a statute of limitations on a loan to a family member. He laughed with a smile, dripping in sarcasm. We’ve mostly gotten along, but he has always had a short fuse and believes that his next-door neighbor, best friend (he has a lot of former best friends) and ex-girlfriend have done him wrong. He also goes from 0 to 60 with service staff (waiters, baristas etc.).

More:

 

I ask men if they have a pension plan before I seriously date them. It's not because I care how much money they have.​

  • Nicola Prentis sorted out her finances three years ago and is on track for retirement.
  • She's found that a man's attitude toward pensions, saving, and spending is a good indicator of compatibility.
  • Now, she always asks them if they have a pension early on while dating.
"Have you got a pension?" isn't the first question I ask a date but it's high on my list if I'm considering an actual relationship.

More:

 
So my parents got theirs............where's mine?

Dear For Love & Money,
I am lucky enough to come from a family with a lot of generational wealth. My great-grandparents passed down a large fortune to their kids, who passed it down to my parents when they died.

Before they died, my grandparents also used a large part of it to make their children's and grandchildren's lives a little better. They gave my parents enough to pay off most of their house, paid for my college, bought me my first car, and did the same for my sister and cousins.

Now, my parents have their share of the family inheritance. The money has been distributed to my uncle's family as well, but my dad's portion of it is still massive.

My sister and I fully expected our parents to follow our grandparents' example and give us some money upfront. Not the whole inheritance, but enough to help us pay off some debt and make our lives a little easier.

More:

 
My ex-husband says he can't afford to keep paying for life insurance where I'm the beneficiary. Can he stop them payments? I want him to die so I can get me some bucks.

‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’: I’m the beneficiary on my ex-husband’s $250,000 life insurance. He’s now threatening to change it. Is he in breach of our divorce decree?​

My ex-husband has a $250,000 life-insurance policy. I’m 50 years of age and only have $45,000 saved. When we divorced, I made sure that I would be the named beneficiary so I could have security as I got older and pass this to my children, but he has informed my two kids that he can no longer afford to pay the $200-a-month premiums, and they would need to pay it. He has also long threatened to change the beneficiary designation. Can he do that?

More:

 

‘I want the calls and letters to stop’: My mother died owing $17,000 in credit-card debt. The creditors want their money. Will I have to sell her house?​

Can you please assist me? I can’t afford a lawyer. My mom passed away in May from Alzheimer’s. I was her primary caretaker. In 2015, my mom created a power of attorney, healthcare directive and a trust. She left me her house in Fresno, Calif., which was not paid off.

She had six credit cards that she was paying off; however, they still owed $17,000 when she died. The creditors are calling, asking if I have a probate court date. I told them no. I don’t even know what that means. Can they make me sell my mom’s house to pay the creditors?

More:

 
searcher said:
‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’: I’m the beneficiary on my ex-husband’s $250,000 life insurance. He’s now threatening to change it. Is he in breach of our divorce decree?
Click to expand...
The question is silly because the answer depends on the court divorce decree. And the excessively long response says just that. You're welcome.
 
searcher said:
‘I want the calls and letters to stop’: My mother died owing $17,000 in credit-card debt. The creditors want their money. Will I have to sell her house?
Click to expand...
The answer was informative, but I think a better answer is that the credit card debt is probably not secured. So the better answer to the card sharks should be obvious.
 
I don't trust banks. Now I've got 650K in a safe............wtf do I do with it? Am I nuts????

I lost all faith in US banks in 2009 — but now I'm 52 with $650,000 in cash sitting in a safe at home. Can I even deposit this money legally?​

Anyone who lived through the Great Recession remembers the tremendous economic turmoil that took place.

Banks had made mortgage loans to unqualified borrowers, bundling those loans into mortgage-backed securities that were sold to investors. The entire house of cards collapsed as home prices began to fall and interest rates began to rise. Several major banks failed, the government was forced to bail out more and the stock market plummeted.

More:

 
An hour after my dad kicked off my one sister cashed in a 100K CD. My other sisters have their eyes on a 200K CD and have grabbed debit cards. Mom has dementia and my sisters want to hide 170K from the gov. Help me!!!!!!!!!!

My sisters want to hide $170,000 of our mother’s money from Medicaid by adding their names to her bank account. What should I do?​


Dear Quentin,​

My 94-year-old father passed away in June. I am co-executor of his estate, along with one of my four sisters. Dad’s will specifies that we can act independently. That sister (I’ll call her No. 3) was also the primary financial power of attorney. Within an hour of dad’s passing, sister No. 3 cashed in his $100,000 CD, which was in his name only. It would have matured in November. By cashing it in early, nearly $2,000 in interest vanished.

Mom is 93, has moderate dementia and is in poor health. Her checking account now has $170,000 in it. Sister No. 3 had mom sign a form to add her as a co-owner, so now the co-owners of that account are mom and sisters No. 2 and 3. Those two sisters can sign checks, and they have obtained debit cards. There is also a $200,000 CD in dad’s name only, which belongs to the estate. My offer to help was met with suspicion.

More:

 
Not really a rant or someone trying to get money. It's more of a "here's what I've done."

‘I see my greedy in-laws as misogynists’: I was a stockbroker in the 1980s and always kept my money separate from my husband’s. Is such self-protection justified?​


Dear Quentin,​

My husband and I work on building a good, egalitarian relationship.

I’ve been married 41 years — I was in my mid-30s — and I have held assets in separate property (and always filed separate tax returns). We did not have a prenuptial agreement. I should have had one, although my financial firewalls are great. I believe in self-sufficiency, financial independence and occasionally taking money out of the marital “boxing ring.”

I was a stockbroker (from age 26 to 50) and my husband has a successful insurance agency. When we married, I had assets (stocks and bonds, and two small houses). The houses merged into our family home. I titled the stocks as sole and separate property (unheard of in the 1980s and I wasn’t sure it was legal). But it was enough to keep his lazy sister away.

When I was a young stockbroker in 1975, a man joined the firm from Omaha and convinced several of us to go to the Berkshire Hathaway annual general meeting. There were maybe 35 people there. Warren [Buffett] and Charlie [Munger] were young. I drank the Kool-Aid: value investing, pay with cash and drive old cars. I honed long-term thinking. It changed my life.

More:

 
We're rich peeps and we let our son find himself by living in our basement with an allowance. Now he's hooked up with a crazy chic, doing gig work and still collecting his allowance. We screwed up good. Save us!

Our son lived in our basement ‘finding himself.’ We give him an allowance — and now he lives off gig work in a studio with his girlfriend. What can we do?​

Dear Quentin,​

We are two successful, motivated and self-made — for the most part — people living in a multimillion-dollar house. Our son is in his 20s. He lived in our basement “finding himself” during a gap year after high school and had some exploratory low-level jobs. That turned into two years, and now he isn’t interested in further formal education.

He quit his most recent job and has gig work through an app. His girlfriend is able-bodied and is dealing with her own emotional and mental-health issues. She has no job or money and is on welfare. They moved into a studio apartment together. They come over or we take them out for meals from time to time, and he gets a small allowance.

Any suggestions of things we can do or say to encourage them or get them on an economically productive track?

More:

 
The inheritance tax is madness. But I have a plan. I'll divorce my wife and marry her elderly divorced mother. When she kicks off it'll be all mine. Whaddya think?

‘Can I marry my mother-in-law to dodge Rachel Reeves’s inheritance tax raid?’​

Dear Sirs,

I was interested to read your articles in The Telegraph concerning the burden of inheritance tax and how it can be mitigated. I wish to offer a cunning plan to your readers for avoiding inheritance tax (IHT) altogether while also enhancing the value of mothers-in-law.

The plan is to divorce my wife and marry her elderly divorced mother.

When my new wife/ex mother-in-law passes away, as her husband I would be able to inherit her estate tax-free. At such time I could then gift my newly inherited assets to my first wife, or our children, in the hope and expectation that I myself won’t pass away within seven years.

More:

 
Last edited:
searcher said:
I'll divorce my wife and marry he elderly divorced mother.
Click to expand...
Could the author use fifth grade English to form a sentence?
Yes, I can expend a little mental power to think what the author meant. But the reader should NOT be required to figure out what the author meant. The author is shit.
 
Pretty sure there is just a letter r missing: "... marry her elderly ..."
 
Someone_else said:
Could the author use fifth grade English to form a sentence?
Yes, I can expend a little mental power to think what the author meant. But the reader should NOT be required to figure out what the author meant. The author is shit.
Click to expand...

The missing "r" has been fixed. All good.
 
Me.........I deserve it all! Now that my parents are dying, my half-siblings are trying to slither their way in to get a handout. Help me!!

Dear Quentin,​

Ilive with my elderly parents, and I am the only child they share together. My father has dementia, and so I stuck around to help out. I have two older brothers and two older sisters from my parents’ previous marriages. I’m the only child of both my parents, and I’m considerably younger than all my brothers and sisters.

Read it all:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle...S&cvid=b2993003640a41f3b7b3f053bc41d2ff&ei=14
 

My Parents Are Kicking Me Out for Failing College​

Jan 12, 2025

7:04
 
Dad kicked off. Left me half a mill and his crib. Evil stepmom and her kids trying to screw me outta what's mine. Need help quick.

My dad left me $570,000 and his house in his will — now my stepmom and half-siblings are threatening to sue me for 'their share' of the inheritance. What should I do?​


I can imagine it's a very difficult situation. You’ve just lost your father, and while you’re still grieving, the contents of his will come to light. The family home and $570,000 in savings is a substantial inheritance — enough money to reshape your financial future and a property with sentimental value.

More:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/oth...S&cvid=5e0912679a7c4cfbb5a44451d3d10045&ei=15
 
Not a bad gig if you can get it.

How Many Adult New Yorkers Are Secretly Subsidized by Their Parents?​


The first time it happens, you’re surprised. One day, your friend with the roommates and the wobbly employment and the busted phone — they buy an apartment. They tell you they’re moving, then they admit they’re buying, and suddenly you’re standing in the living room they own. It’s not that you’d never talked about money, if you count the years spent passing $17 back and forth on Venmo; it’s just that you thought you were on the same track. That when you said “broke,” you understood it to mean the same thing. It’s as if you were both paddling aimlessly in New York’s sea of downward mobility when your friend burst out of the water and stumbled onto the beach.

The source of the apartment is not a mystery. It’s parent money. When the job is nonprofit and the trips European, when the work is too freelance and their kids’ school too private, when they close on a co-op before they finish their dissertation, sure, it could be crypto. It could be sex work. Maybe you missed that time they were hit by a city bus. But if you know someone under 50 who’s living like it’s the ’90s — who owns their apartment, who’s out every night, or who sends their kid to private nursery school and still has money left for vacation — it’s safe to assume there’s a baby-boomer behind them. More than at any other time in New York’s history, parent money shapes our culture. It’s in the restaurants started by big-pharma heirs and the fashion line that descends from Flushing real estate. It’s in the magazines with no ads and the white-cube galleries run by 20-somethings. Unlike nepotism, which favors industry loyalty, the recipients of parent money can often choose their own adventure. I used to wait tables at a dirtbag vegan diner in Williamsburg; the owner’s southern family, people whispered, was in munitions.

More:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/h...by-their-parents/ar-AA1yJYox?ocid=socialshare
 
Call it pre- inheritance....if you're sure you won't need it, help the kids out.
 
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