They need to chopper in Ann Margaret and a bunch of Vietnames hookers.
Man, it's the New Navy.
When I was on the carrier, coming back from forward deployment...we had Singapore liberty. Four days. Singapore, partly because the Phillipines were off-limits...the post-Marcos period, we weren't welcome there and Subic was closed.
Singapore, like most Asian countries, had a vice district. It was ALL declared off-limits.
Now the CO didn't organize a Shore Patrol to enforce it - what it was, was a message: You get in trouble chasing hoors, then we're gonna drop a load of bricks ON you, on TOP of what happened in whatever cathouse.
It was the DemocRats' (under Klintoon) experimenting with the testosterone-free Armed Forces. That same deployment, a week or so later...Australia. Perth.
MWR (Morale, Welfare, Recreation) had a civilian advance-man on the carrier, or he was on much of the time. He couldn't do much about Singapore, which is a benign dictatorship. But, in the Persian Gulf, we had once-a-month port-calls in Jebal Ali, and he would do things like organize gold-jewelry-shopping trips. He'd cleared things that we could get into the Seaman's Centre in town - where foreign civilian sailors could go, have a beer at the bar there, chase the worn-out Russian and Romanian hookers, if so desired.
Access was strictly limited, with an Islamic guard. To enter, you had to sign a document saying you were an Infidel and were committing Crimes against Allah Most Merciful. No, I'm not making this up.
But the MWR guy had to arrange this. Also, a pop-up fast-food kiosk on the beach - several trailers, marked Booger King, Kentucky Dried Chicken. Don't remember if the Fallen Arches were part of it. I didn't eat there, but I did participate in the Beer Tent, also there. Which of course took advance work - drinking beer on the beach in an Islamic nation is no easy feat.
We get to Perth, and the MWR guy flies off, to set up a venue for the Crew Post-Deployment Party. He hires a hall. Gets food and drink ordered. THEN, sends public invites, to all the high schools and other places young women would frequent. The notes were along the line of, come and meet the men of the Carl Vinson...free food, free drinks (Australia it's legal for teens to drink, or it was).
A handful of sodomites saw this, got wind of it. They sent a complaint to the Australian government bureaucracy - how come WE aren't invited? This is SEXUAL DIS-SKIMM-IN-NATION! It's also HOMOPHOBIA!
Australia forwards it to the American Embassy. They forward it to the Pentagon; to the Department of the Navy. Who sends it to our captain, who was up for an Admiralty.
And he drops the hammer. SHIP'S PARTY IS CANCELLED. Instead, there would be a picnic at an orphanage outside of town.
All the officers went to that picnic. And a handful of enlisted men, mostly office adjuncts. The driver for Commander Third Fleet, a real douche-bag, made a point of going.
The rest of us got drunk on the beach, in dive taverns. Yeah, some of the young girls found their way to the waterfront...keep in mind, I was a fair bit older; I didn't need trouble with minor females. I focused on that good Aussie beer. Some of it, not so good.
But that's the Navy today. Today's Armed Forces, is looking for a few good eunuchs.
