my cousin just killed herself

[Penn]

She was troubled. We were close. We spent a few weeks together in Chicago. We had a special closeness because we were both sort of the black sheep of the family.


I cant mention this to anyone. She has 7 sibling and 2 kids and they dont know yet.

I think it was accidental.

She was on xanax.

I keep hoping this was a joke- a sick joke. Her bf was sort of strange.

 

[Chigg]

Sorry to hear that. May she rest in peace. Two kids, man that's a tough one.

 

[Penn]

I think it was accidental. There was no note.

I hope her sister and a few others really think this over. All her life she was picked on by them.

My brothers response was dignified. He did not get along with her- he did not bash her- so I feel good about that.

Her kids are in their 20s and they punished her by shutting her out of their life. Well- now she is out of their life.

When extended family was down on me- she came to my aid. She was a sweet heart.

I spent 2 weeks with her when I visited chicago a few years ago. When she got her divorce settlement she bought me a bunch of goodies.

 

[Penn]

Men dont cry. I wish I could cry now.

 

[pmbug]

Condolences Penn.

 

[rblong2us]

You can cry Penn

Its natural and sometimes its the right thing to do.

I only re-learnt how to show emotion in recent years.

Reflect on the good things your cousin did during her life.

 

[Penn]

I been talking alot to family. Picking their brains.

My cousin recently- her spinal cord fushion came undone. She also it turns out was looking for a place to live. I had offered her to stay with me- but only for 2 weeks.

It is hard on me because she was my favorite.

I suspect that her boyfriend has some to do with it.

She also had a heated fight with her ex.

I had friends suicide over the years and I usually get mad at them. I do think her is accidently. I am not mad- I am sad.

I could not say anything online elsewhere because her immediate family did not know yet- so that is why I posted it here.

Thank you for letting me vent. It means alot to me.

 

[pmbug]

It's part of the circle of life, but when it involves someone close to you, it is painful. The pain is just a reflection of the love you have for them.

 

[Penn]

I want to ask the right questions.

I had a candid talk with her uncle.

I am sure her spinal pain was immense. I am so glad I got to know her again as an adult.

 

[Penn]

Funny thing- she lectured ME on pill use. Then SHE passes away. That poor soul was molested as a child by her sisters husband. Her sister says she lied. I dont think she lied.

She isnt in pain anymore. God rest her soul. The man that molested her killed himself some years ago. What a messed up world

 

[Penn]

There is going to be an autopsy.

Police questioned "everyone".

We think she was depressed over valentines day- women get mushy like that.

I been talking to her uncle. He has been a big help.

Her brother is a cop. If the bf supplied her with coke - I would guess there will be charges.

She got her rxs on Tuesday- posted at 5pm- but the bf says she was locked in her bedroom for 15 hours.

I do not trust the bf.

A few weeks ago they both got a bunch of tattoos and piercings.

 

[drAGonfly47]

As stated before, seek professional help.

Such is not an unusual occurrence in life. There are many trained for assisting you, rather than your public proclamation. Contact, should be far more personal.

I am disinterested in "My cousin just killed herself" as introduction to PMBug.
Although no surprise to who threaded and who titled suicide, and declared accidental, then elude to murder.

Please; this is not AA or any other supportive acronym.
Nor is this site a soap opera.

Seek professional help.... dude.

 

[DoChenRollingBearing]

...

Penn, by God I am sorry to read of your cousin's death. For some time when I was younger, I too was the bottom of the pecking order (not in my family, but at school, etc.). So I have a taste, small but bitter enough, of what you two ALLIES went through trying to get along in life.

It looks like she was in a lot of pain. I hope that means she is indeed in a better place.

Grieve for your cousin and friend. What a terrible loss. We wish you well, and hope that that you will get some Divine Strength.

 

[Penn]

As stated before, seek professional help.

Such is not an unusual occurrence in life. There are many trained for assisting you, rather than your public proclamation. Contact, should be far more personal.

I am disinterested in "My cousin just killed herself" as introduction to PMBug.
Although no surprise to who threaded and who titled suicide, and declared accidental, then elude to murder.

Please; this is not AA or any other supportive acronym.
Nor is this site a soap opera.

Seek professional help.... dude.

In that case- I will run every post past you to make sure it meets your approval.

Next time- scroll on by.

Seriously- just block me. It isnt my job to make you happy.