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Pentagon Leaker Kicking Himself For Not Just Leaving Classified Documents Strewn Around His Garage​

DIGHTON, MA — Military police have arrested Jack Teixeira for allegedly leaking classified documents that contained information on the war in Ukraine.

DIGHTON, MA — Military police have arrested Jack Teixeira for allegedly leaking classified documents that contained information on the war in Ukraine. Teixeira, an Air National Guardsman, is currently kicking himself for not just leaving documents strewn around an unlocked garage as the President did.

"Ugh! I'm so stupid! Why didn't I just print them out and leave them in a garage, or a vacation home, or the trunk of a Corvette?" said the distraught Teixeira while being hauled away. "What on earth was I thinking?"

According to sources, military leadership is trying to decide between the non-judicial punishments of Gitmo or the firing squad.

At publishing time, more classified documents were found under a stash of crack belonging to Hunter Biden.

 
Scrap man took an old 7.5 tonne lorry cab and chassis away last week and reckoned his muncher would process the thing in about 10 minutes. Ive been wondering ever since what kind of machine would eat a lorry

Big tidy up and £1350 from the scrappie . Best Ive ever done with a scrap collection.
Still trying to work out what it all cost me though, before it became scrap 🙃
 
 

"LOWER THAT BABY'S VOICE!" -- MAN MELTS DOWN OVER CRYING BABY ON FLIGHT​

"Lower that baby's voice!" said a man as he had a MELT DOWN on a flight originally meant to land in Fort Lauderdale, FL, but because it was in a circling holding pattern due to bad weather, and had low fuel, it had to be diverted to Orlando, FL. Reportedly, attempts to remove the man from the plane were unsuccessful so the flight attendants ended up removing everyone from the plane.
 
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