JOKE OF THE DAY!?!
- Thread starter Bottom Feeder
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Bottom Feeder
Ground Beetle
Hummmm
Left sumptin out
There, fixed it.
Left sumptin out
Bottom Feeder
Ground Beetle
Bottom Feeder
Ground Beetle
they wuz still drinkin after three??
she didn't look that ugly
she didn't look that ugly
Yeah, bit slow on the Action
Bottom Feeder
Ground Beetle
Bottom Feeder
Ground Beetle
Bottom Feeder
Ground Beetle
Just about got my new fireplace finished —
Bottom Feeder
Ground Beetle
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus
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I have flown as many as some, more than some, and less than some. The most memorial meal I had was on a flight to Atlanta, and something happened that changed the status quo. At the end of the entry way was a large tub of paper bag lunches. We each took one from the box and went to our seats.
So instead of waiting for the attendants to ask our preferences and wait even more for something to eat, I could IMMEDIATELY cut up the apple, and then have the rest of the packaged lunch.
Why the hell can't the airlines ditch their SHITTY caterers and go to simple, cheaper, immediate, and zero effort meal (snack) service?! Just do it, you stupid morons!
So instead of waiting for the attendants to ask our preferences and wait even more for something to eat, I could IMMEDIATELY cut up the apple, and then have the rest of the packaged lunch.
Why the hell can't the airlines ditch their SHITTY caterers and go to simple, cheaper, immediate, and zero effort meal (snack) service?! Just do it, you stupid morons!
You erroneously ascribe common sense to the non-sensical and irrational.
Bottom Feeder
Ground Beetle
Bottom Feeder
Ground Beetle
