JOKE OF THE DAY!?!
- Thread starter Bottom Feeder
- Start date
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A BLONDE, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari
Albert Einstein was a genius,
but his brother Frank was a monster.
but his brother Frank was a monster.
- Messages
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- Reaction score
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- Messages
- 805
- Reaction score
- 684
- Points
- 268
Is he recording his farts? For what purpose? Will someone buy the album? Or something else?
- Messages
- 1,620
- Reaction score
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- 298
Ummm... when he farts in his sleep, the loudspeaker by his head will blast the noise at him.
Multiplied.
Lulz
- Messages
- 763
- Reaction score
- 949
- Points
- 268
University Of North Texas – Ceramic 11Oz 15Oz Coffee Mug
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A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States . It's 11:00 AM on a Wednesday.
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me come into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"
The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America .." The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America !
That person puts up his hand and says,
"I am from Middle East. I am not American."
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?”
She says, "No, I am from Africa .."
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says:
"Probably at work."
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me come into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"
The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America .." The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America !
That person puts up his hand and says,
"I am from Middle East. I am not American."
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?”
She says, "No, I am from Africa .."
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says:
"Probably at work."
- Messages
- 562
- Reaction score
- 732
- Points
- 283
Not true. Cameraman at a nudist wedding.