A guy is having his one too many beers and burps and gets some on his shirt. "Oh, my wife is going to be pissed about this." The guy next to him said, "Just do what I do, stick a twenty dollar bill in your pocket and tell her someone else did it and gave you the twenty to get your shirt cleaned." "Hey, that might work" he said hopefully. So he has yet another beer or two.
When he gets home, his wife is up and she isn't happy, "Look at you, you've been drinking" she scolded. 'And you even barfed on your shirt!"
No, another guy did that and gave me this twenty dollar bill to get my short cleaned.
His wife looked at the contents of his pocket and said, 'Hey, there's two twenty dollar bills here?"
Oh ya, he crapped my pants too.......